Hoo-ee, she’s a hot one here in North Dakota. The weather experts were projecting 106 degrees over the weekend, and I don’t know if it actually made it that high but it was certainly hot enough. I ran (but really, oozed) a few errands and every single person had the same step-back-as-if-punched-and-then-speak response – “WHOA, IT’S HOT,” if they were alone or “HOT ENOUGH FOR YA?” if someone was nearby – when they transitioned from the air-conditioned sliding doors of the grocery store, or the gas station, or wherever into the still, heavy, sunshiney heat of the day.
It was already 85 degrees when we awoke on Saturday and so Kyle and Eleven made the decision to hold an Icee stand, which would be similar to a lemonade stand if a person swapped out lemonade for popsicles. When I left for my errands they were working on a sign (“ICEES 25c or 5/$1 TAX FREE”), and when I returned they had set up on the corner with the sign leaning up against a wood palette, the palette leaning up against a card table, a cooler leaning up against a blue patio umbrella, a radio playing “Tiki Music” from Spotify leaning up against the cooler, and Kyle leaning up against the back of a camping chair. Eleven stood on the corner and waved – apparently, an incredibly effective marketing tactic as he had already made a crazy amount of money.
Kyle needed to run a couple of errands of his own, so I put on an obnoxiously large hat and took over his position as Chief Chair Leaner. As Kyle was leaving, our neighbor came over and handed Eleven a $5 bill.
“I’ll take six Icees,” he said. “And keep the change.”
“That is so nice,” I said, staring at Eleven with the face a mother makes when she is expecting something.
“Yeah,” Eleven said, catching my drift. “Those Icees are really nice.”
“And thank you very much,” I said, staring harder.
Eleven looked at the neighbor, clearly expecting the neighbor to say thank you before realizing his mother’s stare-down was directed at him.
“Thank you and come again,” he said. He put the money in a cash box under the table and returned to the corner.
Five cars passed, and Eleven, red-faced and smiling, waved effusively to each. Two of the drivers waved back, but neither bought an Icee.
Eleven came back to the umbrella to take a sip of water.
“No one is stopping,” Eleven said. “I’m not going to wave anymore.”
“Not everyone is going to stop,” I said, taking off my giant hat in order to fan myself with it. “And you’re not just selling Icees; you’re selling summertime. Waving is a part of Icee stands, which are a part of summertime.”
“Did you know that Napoleon was once chased by rabbits?” He asked.
“I did not,” I said.
He dug around into the cooler, pulling out a neck towel. He wrapped it around the back of his neck and stood holding onto the ends, pondering something in the distance.
“Let’s change the music,” Eleven said. “I will pick something that is better for selling Icees.”
He scrolled through my phone until he found what he felt was quintessential summertime tuneage: The Newsies Broadway soundtrack. He tap-danced back to his spot on the corner, turned around and pointed at me with a flourish.
“Look at me, I’m the King of New York!” He sang.
“Great choice,” I said. I wiped the sweat off my neck, and legs, and neck again, and legs again, and stomach, and brow.
He tap-danced a few more times, came back for another drink of water, switched the Spotify track to “Sunroof” by Nicky Youre, winked and did the finger guns at me, and waved to another car. The driver waved back and continued on, and my phone buzzed.
“Guess what?” I told Eleven. “Dad said your old babysitter sent you $30 on Venmo for Icees. That is ridiculously nice.”
“How many Icees is that?” Eleven asked.
“You tell me,” I said.
Eleven sat down and used his pointer finger to draw imaginary numbers in the humid air.
“That’s 150 Icees,” he said. He opened the cooler. “Do you think she wants 150 Icees?”
“I think you’d better ask her,” I said.
“I’ll do that later,” he said.
“And say thank you,” I said.
“Thank you,” he said.
“Not to me, but you’re welcome,” I said, grabbing a piece of ice from the still-open cooler and rubbing on my arms.
“Are you hot?” He asked, surprised.
“I’m very hot,” I said. “If I were any hotter, I’d be a tea kettle.”
“Is it too hot for you?” Eleven asked.
“It’s never too hot for me,” I said, leaning back even more in my chair and covering my face with my hat. “I’m going to soak in so much of this heat that it’ll keep me warm all winter.”
“I don’t think that’s possible,” Eleven said, waving to another car passing by.
“Let’s try,” I said.
The photo above is of yours truly and my hat at the Icee stand.
This week on North Dakota Today we talked about Nina Benson, my Nice Person of the Week, as well a home garden tour coming up this week in Fargo. (Valley News Live)
Here’s the first bit of my recent column in the Grand Forks Herald; click here to read the full story:
The Theodore Roosevelt Presidential Library opened on the Fourth of July in Medora, North Dakota. My favorite quote from the celebration came from Theodore Roosevelt V, the great-great grandson of Theodore Roosevelt.
“This library has never been about any one person. Don’t be fooled by the name out front,” Ted Roosevelt said. “Though it bears Theodore Roosevelt’s name, this library is not about him; it’s about you. If you leave here with nothing more than a better understanding of Theodore Roosevelt, then we will have failed, succeeding where quite frankly, a much less expensive book would have sufficed.” (Grand Forks Herald)
Bottineau has a baby porch calf to go with their grown-up porch cow. (KFYR TV)
The National Register of Historic Places has added a new barn to its list. (KFYR TV)
I love when people send me articles, stories, and products that say “North Dakota Nice” on them. Here’s one of those. (KFYR TV)
In “Things my son will be disappointed he missed,” Mandan reenacted the Battle of Little Bighorn. (Grand Forks Herald)
What do North Dakotans do when it’s hot outside? Go to the library. (KVRR)
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