We just returned from a beautiful week at the lake with my parents and my sister’s family.  I worked with a woman who thought “The Lake” was a singular lake at which everyone in North Dakota congregated, so I feel compelled to note that Minnesota has 11,842 lakes, and we were at the one called Bay Lake.

I’ve talked about this before, but my parents, sister, and I are…what’s the description I’m searching for?…Indoor People.  My sister, Erica, is more outdoorsy because her husband is outdoorsy and she’s an agreeable person (my husband is also outdoorsy, but I’m not agreeable) – although I can almost guarantee that while she does things like tent in Yellowstone in the middle of a blizzard and backpack through Patagonia, her foundational biology would much rather be in The Oak Room at the Plaza Hotel drinking Shirley Temples and complaining that the air conditioning is simultaneously too cold and too warm.  Erica got engaged at the top of a mountain after hiking said mountain holding onto a rope or some crazy thing like that, and if my husband had proposed to me in a similar fashion he’d be married to someone else because there would be no chance of any of that happening.

The Lake is the perfect vacation spot for Indoor People because it allows us to be, temporarily, Outdoor People…with plumbing and WiFi.  Lake Life is such that it is possible for Today’s Indoor Gentleman to float his sailboat up to a dock, straighten his captain’s hat, light his pipe, and say, “Mumsey, it’s five o’clock somewhere and that somewhere is here, haw, haw, haw.”  And then wait for a restauranteur from a nearby establishment to deliver him a glass of 1811 Chateau d’Yquem and a plate of nachos without his ever having to put on his docksiders – and the whole thing would be considered “Outdoors” because it would involve The Lake and maybe a bug.

As always, the Silvermans were at our Outdoorsy best when we were at The Lake.  We pontooned.  We firepitted.  We hiked.  We swam, or at least stood in the water.  My dad spent an hour cutting worms so my son and nephew could fish.  My mother – whose experience as an Outdoor Person is almost solely based on a 1960’s tour of Europe in which a friend named Erica threw her disposable underwear in the campfire at night and was such a hoot that my mom named my sister after her – ate food off a stick.

However, you can take the Silvermans to water but you can’t make us wear paper underwear, and so I want to tell you about what happened when my dad and I decided to go for a canoe ride.  (Canoe trip.  Canoe float?  The fact that I don’t know what it’s called when you paddle a canoe should indicate what’s about to happen.)

My parents rented a lake house at a resort, and the resort came with free use of a variety of watersport equipment, including canoes.  My brother-in-law checked out a canoe, and then paddled it single-handedly around the lake while my sister held their wiggly two-year-old on the adjacent seat.  When they were finished, I turned to the person nearest me – my dad, who was minding his own business – and asked if he wanted to take the canoe out for a toodle.

“Sure,” my dad said.

“Which seat is the most important?”  I asked my brother-in-law.

“Well, the back one decides where you go,” he said.

“I’ll sit in the back,” I told my dad.

“Sure,” my dad said.

We got in.  We picked up our paddles.  I started rowing backwards.  My dad started rowing backwards.  The canoe started moving forward and onto the shore.

“Amanda,” my dad said, “You’re rowing the wrong way.”

“I’m rowing the right way,” I said.  “I’m in the back.  YOU must be rowing the wrong way.”

We got out of the canoe, pushed off the shore, got back into the canoe, picked up our paddles, and started rowing again.

Again, the canoe ran aground.

“Did we get in backwards?”  My dad asked.

“No,” I said, and then I looked at my brother-in-law as if to say, “No?” and he smiled because we hadn’t gotten in backwards and were also, apparently, inept.

Somehow, after repeating the exact same steps as the previous two times, we managed to back the canoe out and onto the main part of the lake.

“Yay,” my dad said, because we were happy we weren’t on the shore anymore, although we were less happy now that we were floating aimlessly on open water.

We canoed forward, pushed along mostly by the waves and minorly by the paddles.

“Let’s go look at that island,” my dad said.

“Sure,” I said.  We put our paddles on the side that logic would tell you would turn us in the direction of the island.

We did not turn towards the island.

“Paddle, paddle,” I said, on a beat.

“I think it’s ‘stroke,’” my dad said.

“Stroke, stroke, then,” I said.  We paddled in unison.  The canoe continued to float forward.

“I think we live out here now,” I said to my dad.

“At some point we’ll get pushed to shore,” my dad said.

At some point, we got pushed to shore.  Coincidentally, we got pushed to shore as my mother was coming down to the beach to talk about lunch.

“Dad and I will help with lunch,” I said to my mom, “although that means someone else will have to take back the canoe.”

“I can help with lunch,” my brother-in-law said.

“No,” my dad said.

“…Or I could take back the canoe,” my brother-in-law said.

“Sure,” I said.

“I need a drink,” my dad said, as my brother-in-law canoed out of sight.

“It’s five-o-clock somewhere,” I said.

“Haw, haw, haw,” my dad said.

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For what my dad and I lack in canoeing skills, we make up in canoe-related ham-bone photography. We took the masterpiece above while attempting to get to the island – which, as you can see in the photo, is behind us.

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This week on North Dakota Today, we shared the story of Luke Stroh and Hope Manor, and also talked about the Library of Things.  Check it out! (North Dakota Today)

In I LOVE THIS I REALLY DO news, Fargo’s Ian Griffin has started Griffs Grab N’ Give where people can donate what they don’t need and other people can pick up what they do. (Valley News Live)

One: there’s a group called Bismarck ‘Yakkers who kayak around the region.  Two: Annie Balthazar kayaked 2,400 miles over 68 days.  Both are awesome. (Facebook)

Did you know the Grand Forks Herald has an annual Pie Bake-off?  I know Kyle knows because he has sent me this article about 25 times (apple pie is his favorite dessert).  (Grand Forks Herald)

Virgil Hill is North Dakota’s newest Theodore Roosevelt Rough Rider Award recipient. (KVRR)

If you find yourself in Sturgis next year, check out the 2024 logo – designed by Bismarck’s Morgan Bauer. (Valley News Live)

Minot’s Sara Medalen recently returned from Africa thanks to a learning fellowship from the National Education Association. (KFYR TV)

I hope you have Facebook, because you are going to get a kick out of this post about Jamestown’s Dr. Helena K. Wink. (Facebook)

As a reminder, I’ll be appearing on North Dakota Today on Monday mornings. Tune in, and send me the people and stories that are nice.  Thank you in advance!

ALSO as a reminder, Kyle now has a North Dakota hockey podcast on Pulltab Sports. It’s called “North Dakota After Dark” and he hosts it with our friends Kelly and Corey. It’s pretty dumb, pretty funny, and I said, “KYLE, you can’t say that” at least 3x when they were recording…so be warned. Episode 5 is now up. Click here to listen.

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