By the time you read this, I will be busy judging the Miss North Dakota and Miss North Dakota’s Teen Competition.  When I say “judging,” I don’t mean I’ll be slouched on my couch with a bowl of popcorn resting on my chest making comments like, “I could play the spoons like that, too, if I really tried.”  I’m an actual judge.

Obviously, I’m excited.  I am excited because even though I put on makeup in Target parking lots and wear Chuck Taylors far too often for a person who is not in a band, I love sparkles and crowns.  I have an extensive crown collection (only one of which I actually won – let me know if you want the autograph of a 43-year-old former high school prom queen WINK WINK), and I’d highly recommend wearing a crown at some point in your life.

I am also excited because the closest I’ve ever gotten to a pageant is through my television screen.  One of my favorite movies is 1999’s Drop Dead Gorgeous, which is the farcical story of a fixed pageant in Mount Rose, Minnesota (“Home of Freda Hegstrom, Minnesota’s Oldest Living Lutheran”).  If you’ve seen Drop Dead Gorgeous, Miss Congeniality, or any comedic representation of the pageant system, you’ll know that no one reaaallly jokes around about the talent portion of the competition because, if you’re anything like me, you don’t have a talent.  I mean, my mom will tell you that I have talents, but I don’t think sitting on stage writing a blog post for two hours and then coming back in the middle of someone else’s performance to edit it really has that Wow Factor, you know?  Likewise, there’s not really a ring to, “Next to the stage is Amanda Kosior, who will plan to paint her bathroom, get everything off the wall and the edges taped, and then decide she hates painting and abandon the project until her husband finishes it.”

Finally, I’m excited because I live my life by the mantra, “Laugh like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching, share your opinion like someone actually asked for it.”  This is the conversation Kyle had with our eight-year-old about Miss North Dakota:

Kyle: School is almost over and then mom is going to Williston.

Eight: Williston, Texas?  [Note: Eight thinks everywhere is in Texas.]

Kyle: No, Williston, North Dakota.  Mom is going to be a judge at Miss North Dakota.

Eight: Why?

Kyle: Well, maybe because Mom is fancy?

Eight: Probably because she is judgy.

I am judgy.  For those of you who have been out to eat with me and had to listen to my long-winded lectures on ranch dressing, you’ll agree that I’m judgy.  I’m so judgy that I’ve been asked to judge things before – grant applications, chili – and I am so serious about judging that I’m rarely asked to come back for future judging opportunities.  Wink wink.

I can’t tell you much about the Miss North Dakota process (as opposed to the movies where it makes the competition out to be one big collusion, the Miss North Dakota Scholarship Organization works hard to make sure it’s fair and above board), but I’m already not messing around with my seriousness as it pertains to my role.  For example, I have received paperwork prior to the competition, and I have read it.  I HAVE READ IT.  Multiple times.  If there is a quiz on any of that content, I WILL ACE THAT QUIZ.  I don’t want to judge the other judges, but if there’s a competition for judging, I will probably win.

Speaking of the process and me judging things, I will be in Williston from Tuesday to Sunday, which is the longest I’ve ever been away from my boys.  As excited as I am for the Miss North Dakota and Miss North Dakota’s Teen Competition, I’m equally as anxious about leaving them behind.  This is unnecessary concern, as Kyle is quite possibly the more competent parent; however, I still spent the weekend buying enough pre-made food for an army and asking questions like, “Do you think we should get an extra babysitter to hang around in case you need it?”

For his part, Kyle responded with things like, “We’ll be fine,” and “Stop worrying,” which are the wrong answers.  In my mind, I’m going to come home to a house mid-Jumanji with children in ripped up sheets for clothes and nary a bed made.  None of this has been enough of a concern for me to cancel my trip, of course; it’s just something I’ll fret about from afar.

I’ve been given the thumbs-up to post about parts of the competition on social media, so I’ll keep everyone up to speed – whether you want it or not – here (Facebook) and here (Instagram).  I think I have at least two outfit changes every day (not just because I feel like it; they are listed in the schedule), so I’ll also post those so you can judge me.

The Miss North Dakota Scholarship Organization will be streaming all of the Preliminary Competitions and Finals Competition beginning at 7:00 pm CST each night.  Visit missnorthdakota.ticketspice.com/2023 to learn more.  If you’ll be in Williston, I’ll see you there!

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Western North Dakota’s landscape is beautiful and hilly, and it’s especially beautiful now that everything is green. I took the picture above about fifteen miles outside of Williston. It’s a terrible photo, but if you squint you can see that the fields roll along like waves into the horizon.

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Velva’s Duane Brekke has taken to growing produce to help The Lord’s Cupboard Food Pantry (and bonus: Minot’s Mayor Chuck Barney helped with the planting). (KFYR TV)

Fargo’s Red River Zoo now has three bison, prairie dogs, black-footed ferrets, and salamanders in their new Pride of the Prairie exhibit. (Fargo Forum)

A house for sale in Williston is notably NOT HAUNTED. (Williston Herald)

Choo choo!  The North Dakota State Railroad Museum is free and open for the summer. (KX Net)

Grand Forks’ Nolan Richau is the North Dakota AAA School Safety Patroller of the Year. (KNOX Radio)

Congratulations to Fargo’s Luna Gasevic, who finished in 12th place at the 95th National Scripts Spelling Bee Championship. (Valley News Live)

The Black Lions Bar in Mandan is now home to a black lion statue, which stood as a symbol of the Black Lions military unit in Georgia. (KFYR TV)

In “things Kyle wants to buy” news, the owners of the Fort Lincoln Trolley are ready to retire. (KFYR TV)

GOOD LUCK to Fargo’s Holly Hassel, who will be competing on “Jeopardy” on June 14. (Fargo Forum)

Mandan mom and daughter Megan and Eja Holkup have written and published a book together. (KFYR TV)

The Dickinson Police Department took area kids out for a fishing trip as a part of their annual Cops and Bobbers. (KFYR TV)

Even if you aren’t in Fargo, you should read this interview on the Liam G. Medd Memorial Baseball Tournament – and if you ARE in Fargo, please make plans to head on out to the ballfield (Cracker Jacks optional). (North Dakota Nice)

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