We are here to tell you your opinion | June 24, 2021

When we were first married, Kyle and I went to the movie theater so often that we took it upon ourselves to create a movie review website, called We Are Here To Tell You Your Opinion.  This website was not borne out of altruism or a desire for fame; rather, we are both oldest children, and it is our God-given right to tell people what to do.  It’s important to understand that absolutely no one in the history of cinema had or has ever asked, “Hey, I wonder what Amanda and Kyle thought of The Grey?”  Nevertheless, we diligently reviewed every single movie for our fives of viewers until our babies came along and we traded our theater time for stare-at-these-fascinating-creatures-in-sleepless-stupors time.

Now we have much more energy and streaming services but very little motivation to set up the tripod and make a review video.  However, we still feel it’s important to share our unsolicited opinions with everyone, and so here are a few of the TV shows (and two-ish movies) we watched over the past year, and we think you should, too:

 WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS / Hulu: What We Do In the Shadows is a mockumentary (or maybe it’s real, what do I know) about a coven of quirky vampires living relatively out in the open in Staten Island – think of it as The Office meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets some other TV show with an R Rating.  If you like stupid, non-fart-based humor, What We Do In the Shadows is awesome because it’s an honest-to-goodness (very NSFW) comedy.  One of my favorite lines:

NANDOR THE RELENTLESS: “Listen to me, little man.  From Panera Bread you came, and to Panera Bread you shall return.”

DERRY GIRLS / Netflix: Kyle and I went through a little phase where we only watched European TV shows and movies because we are very continental.  We aren’t, however, continental enough to watch Derry Girls without subtitles because we can’t understand the actors’ Irish accents.  Derry Girls is a comedy about a group of teenager-y teenagers going to Catholic School in Northern Ireland in the 1990’s.  Think of it as What We Do in the Shadows, but without vampires or a documentary crew.  (Also, Kyle pointed out to me that Northern Ireland is not on the continent, so I guess I’m really not continental enough.)  We put on an episode for my parents whenever they come to visit.  I don’t know if they like it, but Kyle and I do and that’s all that matters.  A favorite line:

SISTER MICHAEL, during an assembly in which she announces an upcoming field trip to Paris: “Sadly, I am unable to come on this one as I despise the French.”

And also,

ERIN: “Macaulay Culkin isn’t a Protestant, ma!”

CALL MY AGENT / Netflix: This is a French show (once again, subtitles) about a French talent agency.  The talent agents in the show “represent” real French actors – and Sigourney Weaver – and it’s a relatively delightful semi-soap opera about the drama of dramatics.  If you are like the aforementioned Sister Michael and despise the French, this show will make you hate them a little less.  A great line:

CHARLOTTE GAINSBOURG: “Officially I love the movie, but there’s no way I will act in it.  Is that clear?”

THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW / Amazon: Kyle and I binged The Andy Griffith Show because 1) the episodes were thirty minutes long and we’ll basically watch anything that’s not an hour; and 2) we were working a lot at night and we needed something on in the background.  Andy Griffith is great because every episode ends up where it began and half of the storylines repeat themselves.  Plus, there’s wholesome homespun wisdom, ridiculous sexism, and behind-the-scenes adultery – what a hoot!  A representative line:

AUNT BEA: “Opie, you haven’t finished your milk.  We can’t put it back in the cow, you know.”

BLOW THE MAN DOWN / Amazon: This is a movie about two Maine sisters who need to cover up a murder following the death of their mother.  Blow the Man Down is billed as a comedy, but it’s definitely a drama.  The movie is great because the acting is great; it carries any of the plot missteps.  As a bonus, each act of the story is marked by a man singing a sea shanty.  I can’t give you a quote because none of the lines make sense out of context, so instead I’ll tell you that I wasn’t going to include any movies on this list for length and Kyle said, “But what about Blow the Man Down or Hunt for the Wilderpeople?” which should tell you how much we liked it.  (By the way, Hunt for the Wilderpeople is the story of a foster boy and his reluctant foster father on the run from the law.  Take two minutes and watch the preview; it’s a pretty accurate representation of the tone of the film.  It’s adorable if you like movies about precocious children.)

TED LASSO / Apple TV+:  Kyle and I happened upon free seven-day trial of Apple TV+ and saw that Ted Lasso was only thirty minutes; and since we’ll watch anything that’s a half-hour we gave it a shot and ended up cancelling all of our plans so that we could finish the entire first season in two days.  Ted Lasso is the story of an American football coach who is brought to London to lead an English soccer team, which is a ridiculous premise for what is the sweetest show on television.  I honestly can’t think of a person who wouldn’t like this show.  Everyone is nice, even the mean people.  It’s like watching a hug.  Here’s an example:

WALTON: “Do you believe in ghosts?”
TED: “I do, but more importantly, I believe they need to believe in themselves.”

And,

TED: “Congrats, you both just met a cool person!”

And,

TED: “You beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I don’t want to hear it.”

The photo above is a screenshot from We Are Here To Tell You Your Opinion.  And speaking of cool people, this week’s news is about home starter kits, quitting smoking, and Celebrate Myles Day.  Read on.

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The Wahpeton Women’s Literary Club have been packing up $600 “home starter kits” – which include stuff like kitchen items, toiletries, linens, lightbulbs – to give to formerly-homeless families transitioning into housing. (Wahpeton Daily News)

North Dakota now has its first Certified Wildlife Rehabilitator – a Roosevelt Park Zoo veterinarian named Dr. Wood. (KX Net)

The North Dakota Council of the Arts is looking to install permanent art pieces in eight rural – in nature, not in a city or town – sites in North Dakota. (KX Net)

The Osgood Hornbacher’s celebrated “Celebrate Myles Day” on June 22 after a Facebook post about the bagger went viral. (Fargo Forum)

New York pop artist Michael Albert will be traveling to twelve cities in North Dakota to teach people how to create collages, courtesy of the James Memorial Art Center and the Williston Community Library. (Williston Herald)

There is a new trail in Medora to help visitors check out the sights. (Dickinson Press)

In good news, over 1,000 North Dakotans quit smoking every year, which is higher than the national average. (KX Net)