I’m not sure I’ve ever mentioned this, but Kyle teaches a fall semester class on Sports Business at the University of North Dakota. He’s been teaching for 10 years; his first class was 12 students in a room that time forgot, replete with 100-year-old desks, fluorescent lighting, and a map of the Soviet Union. This year he has over 60 students and teaches out of one of the fancy rooms at the new College of Business and Public Administration, so he’s moved up in the world of academia. He has yet to wear a jacket with elbow patches, however, so he still has a ways to go.
His latest first day of school was yesterday, and so, in honor of that, I thought I’d tell you a bit about some of his more entertaining students. I suppose I should asterisk this entire thing with the point that his class has been overall great, and several of the students have moved on to work in the sports industry, and one kid recently stopped him in a store to tell him that Kyle was his “favorite professor he’s ever had.” Let the record show the forthcoming stories are rare when viewed amongst the entire landscape of the decade of Kyle Kosior Teaches Sports Business; students are good, university is good, everything is good. Good, good, good.
Anyways,
Kyle refers to the Tuesday before Thanksgiving as “Black Tuesday” because he knows how many grandmothers are going to die on that date. It’s a massacre, really. The university went through a period where they changed Kyle’s course number every semester, and one of the students figured out this loophole and took the course three times. That student’s grandmother kicked the bucket the first year on Black Tuesday. The following year, his other grandmother had to go. Finally, with his senior year upon him and zero grandmothers left, he emailed Kyle the Friday before Thanksgiving.
“Professor Kosior,” the email read. “I am unable to come to class on Tuesday because I have a flat tire.”
A lot of student athletes take Kyle’s course. The majority of those athletes are on the hockey and football teams, but he has plenty of softball players, tennis players, soccer players, and the like. Even if Kyle didn’t work for a sports agency and have a deep-seated interest in college sports, he would know which students were athletes because most of the teams have academic advisors (no idea if that’s their title) to make sure the students are attending class, doing their work, etc etc etc. Those academic advisors check in with Kyle throughout the semester, so there’s really no chance for a student to secretly be an athlete without Kyle knowing.
“Professor Kosior,” a student athlete emailed the day before the deadline for in-class presentations, “I won’t be able to present tomorrow because my team is traveling.”
“I’m looking at your schedule and you don’t have a game this week,” Kyle responded. “Do you have a grandmother?”
A couple of years ago, on the very last day of the semester, a student whom Kyle had never seen before walked up to him at the podium.
“I checked my grade the other day and I was getting a C,” the student said.
“Yes,” Kyle said. “You didn’t do your final presentation or your last quiz.”
“Yeah, I know,” the student said. “But I need an A, so can I just get that?”
Kyle opens every class with a discussion on some of the sports headlines from the previous week. He typically tries to bring in at least one obscure story each class so that it’s not always the major sports. One time, he brought in an article about a chess player who hid a vibrating dildo up his tush so that his partner could vibrate the apparatus using Morse code to advise him of his next move.
“Anyone have any thoughts?” Kyle asked the class.
One of the hockey goalies, a Swede, raised his hand – and launched into a 15-minute monologue about the scandalous sport of chess. Kyle also learned something that day (alternate line: Kyle felt he was a pawn in his own class that day”).
Kyle’s class is graded on participation, quizzes, and an in-class presentation, which has now become a submitted video because of the number of students. The videos and presentations are, by far, the most interesting thing that comes out of the class. Students can present on absolutely any sports-related topic they want so long as they have a clear opinion and provide compelling evidence to support it. The topics have ranged from gambling to number of players on the field to administrative concerns and everywhere in between. One semester, six kids presented on artificial turf versus natural grass (they all sided with natural grass). Another semester, a kid presented with two black eyes (he got an A; the black eyes had nothing to do with the grade or the topic).
The quizzes happen a few times a semester, and Kyle provides bonus question points for students to raise their grades. The bonus questions are mainly related to speakers in the class or topics they have covered; however, he almost always sticks in a couple of real head-scratchers.
“What is my last name?” Kyle asked on one quiz back when tests were administered by Blue Book. Zero students got that one right. One student got the closest; he wrote the letter “K.”
“Which classroom are we in right now?” That one had a few right answers.
I texted him yesterday after his first class.
“How did it go?” I asked.
“Good,” he said. “I already had my first talker [note: Kyle loves the talkers].”
“Did anyone give you a jacket with elbow patches?” I asked.
“Not a one,” he said.
“Next year,” I said.
Oddly enough, I don’t have a photo of Kyle teaching his class. The photo above felt like a good replacement.
This week on North Dakota Today we talked about Sandy Kovar, my Nice Person of the Week, as well as a great organization helping kids look good and feel good. (Valley News Live)
For the 11th year, Josef’s School and the Salvation Army gave out – or, rather, clipped up – free back-to-school haircuts (and a bonus: the woman in the picture is my high school classmate!). (Fargo Forum, Found from “Oops Only Good News”)
Devils Lake’s Colleen Graue has been honored with the “National Sense of Wonder Award” for her impact in environmental education. (Grand Forks Herald)
Zeeland’s Meidinger family decided to combine this year with some older-than-usual equipment. (KFYR)
This is not good news to me because I wanted them to re-sign Kirk Cousins but I know it’s great news for many of you, so here you go. (ESPN)
North Dakota Nice 
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