Last week, Ten’s fourth grade schoolmates starred in a Living Museum.  A Living Museum is an exhibition in which the “statues” temporarily come to life in order to tell their stories – similar to the movie Night at the Museum, except that the school’s statues were awakened by shining a flashlight on their bellies instead of through the magical powers activated through the Tablet of Ahkmenrah.  Tomato, tomato.

This was our second trip through the Living Museum; Thirteen had participated when he was a fourth grader.  Thirteen had chosen to represent hockey goalie Martin Brodeur.  Thanks to Thirteen, I now know Martin Brodeur was a four-time Vezina Trophy winner who currently holds the record for the most goals scored by a goaltender (three).  Also thanks to Thirteen, I made some core memories during the preparation process because the statues had to memorize their little biographical speeches and Thirteen was more of a “Meh, I’ll just wing it” type of kid who had to be forced into repetitive speech practice by his loving and bossy mother.

“Guess what we are doing in May!”  Ten exclaimed at dinner a month or so back.  “A Living Museum!”

“Good deal!  We should pick your character.  You could be someone on the Titanic, or LeBron James, or Albert Einstein, or the captain of the U-boat we visited in Chicago,” I said, referencing a few of Ten’s very long list of interests.

“I picked it already,” he said.  “I’m going to be Genghis Khan.”

Kyle, Thirteen, and I looked at him.

“I didn’t know you liked Genghis Khan,” Kyle said after a beat.

“Oh, yes,” Ten said.  “I’ve liked him my whole life.”

“No, you haven’t,” Thirteen said.  “You’ve never heard of Genghis Khan.”

“Yes, I have!”  Thirteen exclaimed.  “I know everything about him!  For example, did you know he was killed by his own horse?  Huh, did you?”

“I didn’t know he was killed by his horse,” I said, interrupting whatever fight this was that that was brewing.  “I only know two things about him.”

And then I stopped, because the two things I knew about Genghis Khan were…uh…not really Mom-type facts.

The first was from the movie Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, in which the protagonists go back in time via a phone booth to collect historical figures for their history presentation.  Genghis Khan was one of those figures.  Here was the speech Bill and Ted gave relative to Khan:

“This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China; and, who we were told, two hours ago, totally ravaged Oshmans’ Sporting Goods.”

My second fact was just one of those things I’ve had rattling around in my head forever for no reason whatsoever.  During his reign, Genghis Khan ravaged his way through so many women that 16 million men (approximately 1:200, 0.5% of the male population) walking around on this earth right here and now are his direct descendants. 

“Well, what are they?”  Thirteen asked.

“Uh, I guess I don’t know anything about him,” I said.

“I know a LOT about him,” Ten said.  “I know he killed his brother and took over his family, and his wife tried to kick him out of her tribe, and his name was actually Temujin.”

“Very good,” Kyle said.

“And he wore a hat,” Ten said.

“Right,” I said.  “How do you know so much about Genghis Khan?”

“My teacher set out a bunch of ‘Who Was’ books and I picked one up and it was Genghis Khan and I read the whole thing.”

“Is that how you selected Genghis Khan?”  Kyle asked.  “It was the first book you picked up?”

“Yep,” Ten said, proudly, solving that mystery.

“We’ll have to start working on your speech and informational poster,” Kyle said.  “And, most importantly, we have to get you a costume.”

I picked up my phone and searched “Genghis Khan costumes.”  The cheapest was $200.

“We’ll have to MAKE you a costume,” Kyle corrected himself.

“I already have my speech written and memorized,” Ten said.  He stood up from his chair.

“Oh, hi, there,” I’m Genghis Khan,” he started, and then gave an enthusiastic and aggressive about crushing his enemies.

“Wow,” Kyle said, “I can’t believe you wrote and memorized that already.”

“Yep,” Ten said.  “And I have all of my pictures for my poster.”

“Boy, you don’t need Dad or I at all for this,” I said, a bit mournfully, thinking back to the evenings I spent forcing Thirteen to personify Martin Brodeur.

“You can write ‘Genghis Khan’ at the top of my poster,” Ten said, consolingly.  “And Dad can make my costume.”

“Thank you very much,” I said.

Over the next few weeks, I wrote “Genghis Khan” at the top of his poster in block letters, which Ten then colored in.  I modeled the letters after the logo for the Hu Hot chain of restaurants so as to stretch the project out a little.  For his part, Kyle ordered both a hat and a beard and, through my officemates, sourced not one, but two, toy stick horses for Ten to hold.

Finally, it was the day of the Living Museum.  While Thirteen’s Museum had been held in the classrooms and hallways, Ten’s Museum was spread out throughout the gym to make it feel more museum-y (and also because the gym was much darker than the hallways).  To prove to the other parents just how extra we were, Kyle brought his own flashlight rather than use a school-provided one.

Ten was located as far away from the entrance as a person could be, giving Kyle and I a chance to partake in some of the other statues on our way around.  We saw Babe Ruth, three different Queen Elizabeths, George Lucas, Barack Obama, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Ameila Earhart, Derek Jeter, Lucille Ball, and Bruce Lee, to name of few.  Ninety-nine percent of the statues started their speeches with, “Oh, hi, there,” which was my second-favorite part.

My first-favorite part was, of course, Ten.  His statue pose was standing sideways, face turned to the vast distance, straddling the stick horse.  When the flashlight was turned on, he dismounted and gave his speech using his horse as a sword.  When he was finished, he remounted and turned sideways.

“You did an awesome job!”  I said.  I leaned forward and tried to give him a kiss, which Genghis Khan (who was still frozen in place) was not having whatsoever.

Later that evening, after many, many more compliments were bestowed upon Ten, he gave his total thoughts on the matter.

“My legs are super tired,” he said.  “Super tired because I had to stand up for a whole hour.”

“Plus, you rampaged across all of Asia and parts of Europe,” Kyle said.  “That must have been exhausting.”

“Yep, that, too,” Ten said, still wearing his hat.

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The picture above is a crappy photographic representation of the Living Museum.

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This week on North Dakota Today we talked about Ashley Ham, my Nice Person of the Week, as well as a free fishing derby for kids. (Valley News Live)

Drayton-Valley-Edinburg’s Elizabeth Fedje now holds the record for one of the Top 100 high jumps in the country – and did so with not one, but two knee injuries. (Grand Forks Herald)

New Rockford’s Jean Schuster got to hear her son’s heartbeat once again after his organ donation saved Robbie Knutson’s life. (Fargo Forum)

Great news – West Fargo’s Jackson Berg has rung the bell at the Roger Maris Cancer Center! (Valley News Live)

North Dakota hosted its first-ever National Civics Bee. (KFYR TV; Found from “Oops Only Good News”)

In Fargo and need a reason to go out for lunch today?  Check out the Heart-n-Soul Community Cafe, which is raising awareness of homelessness by asking guests to pay a donation, contribute what they can, or pay forward to help the next guest. (Fargo Forum; Found from “Oops Only Good News”)

Getting ready to retire from the military?  Consider North Dakota. (KX Net)

Stacy Johnson has been crowned the state’s second-ever Ms. Wheelchair North Dakota! (KVRR)

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