I like to dance. I was a ballerina, a member of my high school dance team, and my friend Jason and I won “Best Jitterbuggers” at our 9th grade school dance because back in ye olde days, children, dancing was a section in gym class. Plus, my sister and I choreographed more than 100 variations of dances to the song “Conga” by Miami Sound Machine in our living room, and that was only one of over 25 songs in our 1987-1992 choreographic living room repertoire alone. So, when Kyle and I got engaged in 2005 – the glory days for Facebook videos of choreographed wedding and flash mob dances – I pressed play on my Gloria Estefan CD in my boombox, kick-ball-changed, kick-ball-changed, hip-hipped over to my future husband, and said,
“Should we dance down the aisle, at the dinner, or both?”
Kyle visibly puckered. Imagine the Looney Tunes logo compressing in on itself as Porky Pig fights for a final “That’s all, folks!” before being sucked into the abyss.
“No dancing,” he said. “I mean, I’ll slow dance with you; but no fast dancing for me, please.”
“No choreographed fast dancing?” I asked. “Or no fast dancing, period?”
“No fast dancing, period,” Kyle said. “I don’t like dancing in front of people. It makes me really nervous.”
Because we were madly in love and he had a few drinks in him, I did manage to get one fast dance out of Kyle at our wedding. It was to Justin Timberlake’s “SexyBack,” which was appropriate foreshadowing for my velour track suit-loving husband and his deep-seated passion for sweeping out the garage. However, over the past 19 years of weddings, galas, and Christmas parties, that SexyBack dance was all that it was, folks.
A few months ago, Kyle and I were having lunch at a restaurant called Darcy’s when the owner, Mick, approached us.
“I’m on the committee to find celebrities for ‘Dancing for Special Stars,’” Mick said, referencing the popular annual fundraiser for Grand Forks Special Olympics in which members of the community are paired up with trained dancers for a one-time performance (as an aside, it’s so popular that they had to move it to a bigger auditorium in town to accommodate the audience). “We’d really like you to do it.”
“I’m in,” I said, even though she had spoken directly to my husband.
“We have all of our female dancers,” Mick said, “but we would love to have Kyle do it.”
“I’m in,” Kyle said.
“No, he’s not,” I said to her. “He doesn’t like to dance.”
“I’m in,” Kyle said. “Whatever I can do to help Special Olympics.”
“Maybe he could be a fundraiser instead?” I asked her, still not acknowledging Kyle.
“We could really use a dancer,” Mick said to Kyle.
“I’m in,” Kyle said.
He was in.
Here’s a fact about Kyle: He struggles to say no when asked to help – which is why I’ve taken to speaking for him when I know his yes is actually a no. Here’s another fact about Kyle: He does not like someone telling him what’s what. And so, when I told Mick that Kyle didn’t like to dance, Kyle decided that what’s what was that he was the greatest dancer who ever lived.
A few weeks later, Kyle met with his dance partner, Tiffany.
“We selected our song,” he told me afterwards. “We picked Nine’s favorite song [author’s note: at that exact moment].”
“That’s wonderful,” I said.
“I’m excited,” he said with a slight hesitation in his voice.
“Oh, for sure,” I said.
“I am,” he said with defiance. He held up his phone and dramatically pressed play.
“I’m going to listen to this on repeat,” he said, “to get in the mindset.”
“Terrific,” I said.
Kyle and Tiffany met for dance practice a few weeks later. He came home unexpectedly jazzed up.
“We got through the first half,” he said. “I don’t want to brag, but I’m really good.”
“That’s great,” I said, although I must have not said it with enough enthusiasm because Kyle handed me his phone.
“I taped it so I can practice,” he said. “See for yourself.”
The video started. The first few seconds were Kyle setting the phone on a mirror and getting into position. He shook out his arms, shuffled over a few steps to his first mark, and started to dance…and I burst out laughing.
I was laughing so hard I had to pause the phone – because you know what? He was pretty, pretty good.
Kyle is a big boy and when he gets nervous, he tenses up like (a sexy) Frankenstein. I’d seen him Frankenstein many times before when slow dancing in public places. In that video, however, he was as lithe as…which callback should I use here? Justin Timberlake? Gloria Estefan? Porky Pig? All of them.
“You’re so great!” I exclaimed when the video ended.
“I know, right?” He said. “It was really fun. I’m going to practice every day.”
Dancing for Special Stars is on April 15. As of right now, Kyle has practiced every day. The “winner” of Dancing for Special Stars is the person who raises the most money, not the best dancer – and the real winners are the athletes who are able to compete thanks to these dollars. One of the other dancers is a very popular doctor in town named Dr. Panda, and we know he’s popular because Kyle and I emceed the Altru Gala Fundraiser and Dr. Panda auctioned off a dinner at his house and had to sell TWO dinners because so many people were willing to donate $25,000 to be in his presence.
If you’d like to help Kyle beat Dr. Panda win, click here to donate. Thank you very much in advance!
The photo above is of Kyle and Tiffany at their last practice.
This week on North Dakota Today we talked about Vicky Rittenbach and Peggy Rothchild, my Nice People of the Week, as well as an opportunity for our North Dakota summertime campers. (Valley News Live)
After 51 years, “Rebecca” is back at the library. (Fargo Forum)
In honor of 6-year-old Katarina Louthain, love of gymnastics, Red River Valley Gymnastics has created “Katarina’s Kindness Corner” where children can get free uniforms if their families are unable to afford them. (Fargo Forum)
“Legendary” Dean Winczewski is retiring from basketball. (Minot Daily News)
Elk Ridge Elementary students raised $600 by selling hot chocolate in support of the United Way. (KX Net)
North Dakota Nice 
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