Next week is mid-July.  Mid-July means that it’s basically August 1, which means that school is pert near started, which means that Target has it’s trucks locked, loaded, and ready for the world to get its fix of Halloween – wait, Thanksgiving – wait, Christmas decorations, which means that Winter 2025 is right around the proverbial corner, which means that 2026, 2027, 2028, 2029 is practically tomorrow, WHICH MEANS THAT WE ALL NEED TO GET SERIOUS ABOUT SITTING ON OUR BUTTS.

Everyone knows that summertime is for sitting on our butts.  I just got done sitting on my butt in a rented minivan on a car trip so as to spend the 4^th of July sitting on my butt alongside my husband’s cousins and their own butts.  In addition to my butt enjoying several days of rest and conversation upon comfortable padded wicker furniture next to the pool, I also sat my butt in the pool via a floatie decorated with red, white, and blue sparkles, as well as upon the patio next to a firepit, and on the grass betwixt a summer breeze and some busy fireflies while fireworks exploded above us.  Pool = Water.  Firepit = Fire.  Grass = Earth.  Breeze = Wind.  Butt = Fifth Element.

Every evening, my husband and I walk out onto our front porch so we can sit our butts on our rocking chairs.  My rocking chair is baby blue and has two seats for two butts.  Kyle’s rocking chair is of the fold-up variety and is meant to live in the back of our car (and not on the front porch) so that our butts can go to baseball fields and volleyball courts and have a place to sit.  Why doesn’t Kyle’s sit on my baby blue two-butted rocker?  It doesn’t matter; what matters is that he sits.

Earlier this month, my thirteen-year-old and I walked out onto the beach of Lake Michigan and sat our butts on some of the softest sand on which our butts have ever landed.  Next to us, a family spread out a large blanket for their butts before opening a cooler full of sandwiches.  My nine-year-old, never one to be concerned with things such as “wet underwear” or “crack sand,” walked out into the lake as far as his shins and then sat down on his butt, the water swirling around his shoulders and chest.

Here is an inexhaustive list of places that are good for sitting on your butt:

1. The park, where you and your butt can sit on a rock or the ground or a bench or a pile of leaves or a fallen log or your own backpack and enjoy nature.

2. The drive-in movie theater; back your truck into a prime viewing spot and pile a load of blankets or travel rocking chairs into the bed and take your butt out on a date.

3. On any kind of watercraft.  My family at-large prefers pontoons because our butts like a slow toodle around the lake, while my sons prefer to sit their butts on an inflatable couch-type floatie called a Mable in the water and get pulled as fast as the engine will take them – after which they like to lie their butts out on the back of the boat to sun.

4. Speaking of watercraft, there is no better activity for butts than fishing.

5. On a bicycle.  My bicycle seat has gel pads.  You know which part of the body enjoys a good gel pad?  A butt.

6. A friend’s driveway.  My husband has a backpack cooler with a hard top so that he can transport beverages and provide his butt with a place to rest (although he uses his travel rocking chair, obviously) because he wants our friends to enjoy sitting on their own butts without having to wait on Kyle hand and foot (or butt).

7. On a golf cart.  In fact, based on how terrible I am at playing golf, my butt and I should stay on that golf cart and leave the golfing to other people.

Here is an exhaustive list of places that are good for sitting on your butt:

Everywhere.  It’s summer.  Take nothing butt memories, leave nothing butt footprints.

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The photo above is of my butt in Michigan.

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This week on North Dakota Today we talked about Walhalla’s Rayza and Ryatt, my Nice People of the Week, as well as a fundraiser to make sure kids have the opportunity to play hockey.  Enjoy! (Valley News Live)

Newlyweds Jacob and Rachel Nistler of Bismarck invited their favorite Barstool podcasters to their wedding, and they SHOWED UP. (KFYR TV)

Here’s something I bet you didn’t know: Minot has had an all-ages punk music scene for three decades. (Minot Daily News)

Happy 106th birthday to Bismarck’s Hulda Erdman (fun fact, it’s her SECOND golden birthday)! (KFYR TV)

Speaking of birthdays, Mandan’s Anna Mary Beierlein celebrated her 100th birthday by holding court as the Grand Marshal of the 4th of July parade – which, by the way, was the 143rd year of the parade. (KFYR TV)

In Grand Forks, volunteers planted 1,484 flags at Memorial Park for the 4th of July. (Facebook)

West Fargo’s Matt Strahm is a National League All-Star. (Fargo Forum)

Yee-haw; the stagecoach rides again in Medora. (KFYR TV)

Kyle and his friends, Corey and Kelly, have a podcast called North Dakota After Dark where they talk about youth hockey in North Dakota.  The latest episode is up and is an interview with Kyle Kosior himself.  Check it out. Bonus: you can watch it on YouTube. (North Dakota After Dark)

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