It’s spring.  IT’SSSSSSSPRINGGGGG!!  Calendric spring and what we’d consider actual spring in North Dakota don’t often intersect because our nice weather doesn’t typically start until, uh, June – but as I type this the birds are chirping, the trees are budding, and Kyle has stopped thinking about his backyard rink and has started thinking about The Official Kyle Kosior Drink of the Summer.

Somewhere around the time he started saying things like, “Yes, I just swept out the garage but it needs sweeping again” and “Check out this sweet deal on this golf cart,” Kyle also determined that our standard alcoholic beverages simply wouldn’t do year-round.  I can’t pinpoint the exact moment it happened, but I want to blame say it has something to do with a YouTube video in which a dude in a rolled-up Hawaiian shirt named Trevor shouted from his apartment patio, “Ain’t no laws when you’re drinking Claws, Margaret.”  By the middle of the baseball season, Kyle had outfitted two of his friends in matching “Ain’t No Laws” t-shirts and had become an expert in pulling out a stack of folding chairs and a box of White Claws whenever his truck was stationary for more than twenty minutes.

The next summer Kyle discovered Avalon Jazz Band, a quartet fronted by a woman named Tatiana Eva-Marie who specialized in French jazz.  White Claw simply wouldn’t do for such classy musical stylings, and so Kyle switched to rosé wine.  Kyle and I spent many nights on our country porch, drinking rosé out of wine glasses won by Kyle at a silent auction (which came, unsurprisingly, with a bottle of rosé and was probably the reason for the selection), listening to a symphony of rustling leaves, chirping crickets, and French jazz, and watching subtitled episodes of The Walking Dead on our iPad.

“Rosé, huh?”  His friends would say, raising their eyebrows and gesturing to whatever nearby group of women were enjoying a similar drink with their brunch and eyebrow waxing appointments.

“Not rosé, BROSE,” Kyle would say, pulling up his golf shirt to show off his “Yes way, brose” t-shirt underneath.

We were driving through Wisconsin the following July when Kyle emerged from a gas station with a plastic bag and an air of satisfaction.

“Check this out: orange wine,” he said, producing a hot pink cardboard box similar to a milk carton.  “Bon Appétit says it’s the next thing.”

“Is there a Bon Appétit pop-up shop in this Kum & Go?”  I asked too late, as BeatBox Summer had begun.  To celebrate, Kyle ordered a flat of plastic coupe glasses off the Internet because nothing says “Buffy, have you seen my tennis whites” like an electric blue liquid and a removable base.

After BeatBox Summer came a brief tiptoe into French 75s and a long canoe trip into Old Fashions (complete with matching “Call Me Old Fashioned” t-shirts).  There was a short stop on a six-pack of microbrews out of Fargo, and another pause on a microbrew out of Grand Forks, and an enthusiastic fishing trip with a beer called Spotted Cow out of Wisconsin – made popular by the fact that it can only be purchased in Wisconsin and is therefore more special and, by association, more delicious.  Then there were sazeracs, which led to the acquisition of a miniature wooden barrel in which Kyle attempted (and, I guess, succeeded, although the barrel remains nearly full) to make his own whiskey.

We were in Bismarck, North Dakota for a hockey tournament this past weekend when one of the locals pointed us to a secret speakeasy located behind a bookcase in an Indian-restaurant-plus-casino.  While I, the lazier superior parent, stayed back with the kids, Kyle and a few of our pals ventured into the unknown…and came back changed.

“They had a drink where you took a drink, then ate a flower that numbed your tongue, and then took another sip, and the drink tasted different both times,” he said.

“A numb tongue doesn’t sound very pleasant,” I said.

“It’s very pleasant,” he said, picking up his phone.  “And they held the flowers in place with these tiny little clothespins.  I’m going to order the flowers; do you think you could get clothespins with our name on it?”

“I mean, I suppose,” I said.

“Although,” he said, setting down his phone, “My original plan was a Fort Point.  I’m not sure I want to pivot.”

“Stand your ground,” I said.

“I also think there is more I can do with that drink smoker, too,” he said.

“There’s not enough summer in the summer,” I said, sighing.

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I told Kyle I was writing this story and he sent me the picture above unprompted.  He would like me to share the Fort Point recipe with you: 2 oz rye, ½ oz vermouth, ¼ oz benedictine, stirred with ice, strained into a cocktail glass, and garnished with a maraschino cherry.  Novelty t-shirt and DIY whiskey barrel not included.

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This week on North Dakota Today, we talked about an adventure to all 14 North Dakota state parks and a new-ish non-profit helping survivors of violence claim their dignity. (Valley News Live)

In “My dad is really going to be jealous because he loves model trains” news, Bismarck’s Ayden Olson has built a miniature rail bridge on display at the the Bismarck Antique Mall. (KFYR TV)

Last week, Kindred’s Lincoln Ham, age 8, had one of the top ESPN basketball brackets in the world. (KFGO)

West Fargo’s Plath Family had a special celebration at the White House after Graham Plath won an egg design contest. (Valley News Live)

Speaking of eggs, it’s EGG DROP SEASON. (KFYR TV)

Cavalier’s Kyle and Melissa Gagner are restoring a historic gas station in time for the town’s 150th anniversary. (Grand Forks Herald)

This is a story about romance and butter, which are basically the same thing. (Facebook)

Kyle and his friends, Corey and Kelly, have a podcast called North Dakota After Dark where they talk about youth hockey in North Dakota.  The latest episode is up and is an interview with Tom Lynn of Veritas Hockey.  Check it out. Bonus: you can watch it on YouTube. (North Dakota After Dark)

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