While it is unknown to the author as to how Bob the Dwarf Frog came to reside in a children’s curio store in Minnesota – one can only assume an audacious escapade involving a helium-filled birthday party balloon ride across the Congo and an unexpected friendship with a one-eyed loon – it is a fact that his life with the Kosiors began because the youngest Kosior, then six, liked to chat.

“I like your frogs,” Six said to the shopkeeper, casually leaning against the countertop where four pairs of dwarf frogs swam in small square plastic containers.  “What’s their names?”

“They don’t have names,” the shopkeeper lied, as she neither spoke dwarf frog nor had any knowledge of the frogs’ parentage.  “If you buy them, you can name them.”

“I think we are taking a pause on pets,” Kyle said. The last of the Kosior Family Pets (a fish) had recently departed this mortal coil.

“These frogs are very easy,” the shopkeeper said, sensing his lack of conviction.  “They live underwater 100% of the time and only need to be fed two pellets twice a week.”

“That’s it?!”  Six said.  “Dad, we need these frogs.”

“We do not need frogs,” Six’s fun-killing mother (and your narrator) said from across the store.

Five days later, the Kosiors returned to North Dakota with two containers of dwarf frogs: Wubbox and George for Six; Bob and Scarlett for Ten.

According to Wikipedia, “Dwarf frogs are very active and rarely sit still for any period of time.  When stationary, the dwarf frog has been known to float in one spot, with its limbs completely outstretched, on the surface of the water. This is normal behavior, called ‘burbling’.”  For the next handful months, Bob burbled in harmony with Scarlett amongst Ten’s nightstand bric-a-brac.  Of the four frogs, Bob was the King of the Burble; so much so, that it became Ten’s daily practice to tap on the box to ensure the floating Bob was, in fact, burbling and not dead.  For her part, Scarlett preferred to lounge amongst the rocks at the bottom.

By winter, it was clear the frogs’ living arrangements needed to change – necessitated by the unfortunate and unsolved death of George (or maybe Wubbox; dwarf frogs look very similar to one another) followed by several nights of ribbiting by Bob and Scarlett.  As “dwarf frogs are suggested to be kept in a group of two or more due to their social nature” (Wikipedia) and because Ten, the Kosior Family Dwarf Frog Expert But Not Caretaker, determined the ribbiting was out of concern for George, Kyle, the Kosior Family Dwarf Frog Caretaker, ordered a larger tank – although not too large, because “despite being fully aquatic, the dwarf frog still needs to be able to reach the surface to breathe.  These amphibians are not great swimmers, so water currents should be kept low and deep tanks may pose a challenge to their ability to breathe.” (again, Wikipedia)

The larger tank resided on Six’s dresser for less than a month before Kyle discovered Six and his friends attempting to snuggle one of the frogs (“Because they are fragile animals, care should be taken when handling dwarf frogs, especially when considering them as a pet for young children. These frogs should only be held outside the tank max of 5-10 minutes, but it is better not to, for the safety of the frog.” – Wikipedia), after which all three frogs were permanently relocated to Ten’s room.  It is unknown if Bob, Scarlett, and Wubbox preferred one location over the other, although Bob did stop burbling and did start ribbiting for a short period of time after the move.  The other frogs appeared unphased.

On the first Monday of this calendar month in this calendar year, Ten (who is now Twelve) awoke, tapped on the glass to ensure Bob was burbling and not dead, and went off to school.  For the rest of the day, Bob burbled.  Bob burbled when Kyle, the Kosior Family Dwarf Frog Caretaker, checked on them in the morning, and he burbled when Amanda, the Kosior Family Dwarf Frog Ignorer, went into Twelve’s room to uncover hidden dirty laundry and happened to glance at the tank.  That evening, as the younger Kosiors prepared for bed, Twelve came into his parents’ bedroom, distraught.

“Bob’s dead,” he said.

“No, he’s not,” Kyle said.

“Yes, he is,” Twelve said.  “I tapped on his tank and he didn’t do anything.”

“He never does anything,” Amanda, the Narrator, Author, Kosior Family Dwarf Frog Ignorer, and Fun-Killing Mother, noted.

“Usually he moves his foot,” Twelve said.

Amanda went into Twelve’s room.  At the top of the tank, Bob burbled.

“See, look,” Twelve said, poking at the tank.  Scarlett and Wubbux shuffled around.  Bob, on the other hand, remained steady.  Twelve increased his tapping, causing the water to swish back and forth.

“Stop, you’ll give Scarlett and Wubbox a heart attack,” Amanda, the Kosior Family Dwarf Frog Doctor and Also Coroner Because Bob had Croaked, said.

Twelve’s face fell.

“Bob kept me company at night,” he said.  “He was one of the ribbit-ers, I could tell.”

“I’m sorry, buddy,” I said.

“Freakin’-A, I loved Bob,” he said.

Bob’s body is now buried in our backyard.  His soul, I hope, is burbling the shallow waters of the universe, or maybe haunting the tank of Scarlett and Wubbox, reminding them to ribbit every once in a while for Twelve’s sake – peaceful in the knowledge that in this life, while he wasn’t a very interesting pet, Bob was a very good frog.

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The photo above is of either Scarlett or Wubbox because it turns out I didn’t take any photos of Bob. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you visit the Toasted Frog, which is what we assume Bob would have wanted.

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This week on North Dakota Today, we talked about Acts of Kindness and Dakota Rock Hounds. (Valley News Live)

On April 28, “All the Buddies” are gathering to raise money for a wheelchair golf cart. (Facebook)

Minot’s Mason Morelli not only made his NHL debut with the Vegas Golden Knights, he SCORED A FRICKIN’ GOAL. (NDHSAA)

Bismarck’s Ascen Huck now has a sweet pontoon thanks to Make-A-Wish North Dakota. (KX Net)

Teddy Roosevelt came out to help Minot’s Roosevelt Elementary celebrate 100 years of learning. (Minot Daily News)

North Dakota’s Donny Schatz has recorded his 500th victory in a Sprint Car. (KFYR TV)

Also as a reminder, Kyle and his friends, Corey and Kelly, have a podcast called North Dakota After Dark where they talk about youth hockey in North Dakota.  The latest episode is up and is an interview with Matt Moreland about Grand Forks High School Hockey.  Check it out. Bonus: you can watch it on YouTube. (North Dakota After Dark)

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