We were driving to Fargo a couple of weeks ago when our eight-year-old announced that he wanted me to write a story about him.

“What should I say?”  I asked.

“Say that I am smart and funny and good at lots of stuff,” he said.

Eight is smart and funny and good at lots of stuff.  As a person who knows about these kinds of things, I’d say he and his brother are the smartest, funniest, and goodest at stuff in the world.

Eight and I recently found ourselves at home alone for the weekend while Kyle and Twelve attended a hockey tournament.  After an extensive chat outlining possible plans – including but not limited to a number of things we were not going to do, like fly to Arizona – we decided to bike the 3.5 miles from our house to a local diner-esque restaurant called Grama Butterwicks (lovingly referred to as “Grama Butts” in our family) for brunch.

The time was 10:00 am.  Eight came downstairs in his typical outfit du mois: sweat shorts, a hockey t-shirt, camo Crocs, and socks.  He grabbed a baseball cap and then asked if I would first put some gel in his Dennis the Menace-esque hair.

“You don’t need gel if you are going to wear a hat,” I said.

“I am going to wear my helmet OVER my hat, so I do,” Eight said.

That logic sound, I gelled and brushed his hair.

“You look so handsome,” I said.

“Yes, I do,” he said.  “But my outfit doesn’t match.”

He went to his bedroom, and came back out in a Hawaiian shirt, camo pants, camo Crocs, and socks.  He put his helmet on over his hat, and we were off.

It was a sunny September morning in all its glory.  Eight rode in front of me down the sidewalk at a leisurely pace; so leisurely, in fact, that he tipped over at one point.

“How about pedaling a little faster, buddy?”  I called.

“Did you know that leaves feed trees through photosarcophagus?”  He called back, his speed unchanged.

“I think you mean ‘photosynthesis,’” I said.

“In Europe it’s called ‘photosarcophagus,’” he said.  We passed by a woman walking a dog, and Eight turned around to pet it.

“My friend Noah moved to California after school ended last year,” Eight told me once we were back on our bikes.  “He had to live in a hotel for two weeks to get into his house because they had to get the junk and carpet out.  They were only supposed to live in the hotel for two DAYS but it ended up being two WEEKS because of all of the carpets.”

“That’s sad that he moved, but fun that he’s in California,” I said.  “How did you know that about the hotel?”

“He told me,” Eight said.

“When did he tell you?”  I asked.

“Last week,” Eight said.

“How did he tell you last week if he moved in May?”  I said.

“That dog’s name was Duke,” he said.  “Noah has a dog named Cooper.  Coop-a-loop and Duke-a-loop.”

We arrived at Grama Butts at 11:15 am and sat down in a booth made for two.  The waitress handed Eight his menu.

“I’m going to get pancakes,” he said – and then, “Do I HAVE to get breakfast?  Since this is brunch?”

“No, you can get whatever you want,” I said.

Eight leaned in over the table.

“Can I get a grilled cheese?”  He whispered.

“Yes, you can get a grilled cheese,” I whispered back.

The waitress returned.  Eight ordered pancakes.

“I chickened out,” he told me after she left.

We finished lunch at 12:30 pm and went out to get our bikes.

“I want to go The Special Way back,” Eight told me.

“What The Special Way?”  I asked.

The Normal Way – a.k.a., the way we got to the restaurant – was through the residential neighborhoods.  The Special Way was in the alley behind a row of businesses.  We rode The Special Way all the way to Wendy’s.

“Why are we at Wendy’s?”  I asked Eight.

“Because I’m hungry,” he said.

“We JUST ate lunch,” I said.

“That was brunch,” he said.  “Now I want normal lunch.”

“Are you actually hungry for normal lunch?”  I asked.

“No,” he admitted.  “But I am hungry for a treat.”

We got Frosties.

A few blocks from the house, Eight sped up, hopping up and down the curbs.

“Yikes, be careful, please,” I called to him.

“I’m fine,” he hollered back.  “I eat sidewalks like this for breakfast.  Wait, lunch.”

We returned home at 2:30. We had decided at Grama Butts that we would play some mid-afternoon pickleball, a plan that was foiled with the arrival of one of Eight’s friends at our doorstep.

“You don’t need to play pickleball, you’re already beautiful,” Eight told me, swapping his bike for his scooter to match that of his pal.

“Thank you,” I said.

“You can watch us ride scooters, if you want,” his friend said.

“I think maybe I’ll put away some laundry,” I said.

“Moms do boring stuff,” Eight’s friend said as I closed the door.

“I know, that’s why I had to take my mom for a bike ride,” Eight said.

Epilogue

I asked Eight if he wanted me to say anything to you all before pressing “Submit.”

“Tell them that the moral of the story is that bike riding is good exercise,” he said.  “And tell them that we saw two geese with one wing out and we got so close we could have grabbed them.”

“Will do,” I said.

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The photo above was selected by Eight and is of Eight (right) and Twelve when Eight was about two.

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This week on North Dakota Today we talked about geocaching and pizza.  Check it out!  (Valley News Live)

Hay, now, here’s a story of North Dakota Nice. (Facebook)

RUN, don’t walk, to the North Dakota Northern Lights Network on Facebook to see the amazing aurora show earlier this week. (Facebook)

It was a beautiful weekend for the Special Olympics’ state soccer and bocce tournament in Grand Forks. (Grand Forks Herald)

If you aren’t from North Dakota you probably don’t know that some of our students were in a fatal bus accident.  The communities surrounding Northwood have come out in a big way – including this hair salon, who is donating her services to help the girls who needed to have their heads shaved. (Facebook)

Mandan’s Owen Nelson and Bismarck’s Zach Brenden are representing the United States in the 2024 Youth Olympic Games. (KFYR TV) (KX Net)

Grand Forks’ Abby Grimaldi shot her latest music video at Red River High School. (Grand Forks Herald)

As a reminder, I’ll be appearing on North Dakota Today on Monday mornings. Tune in, and send me the people and stories that are nice.  Thank you in advance!

ALSO as a reminder, Kyle now has a North Dakota hockey podcast on Pulltab Sports. It’s called “North Dakota After Dark” and he hosts it with our friends Kelly and Corey. Episode 8 with Andrea Reynolds is now up. Click here to listen.

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