Amanda and the Snowmobile | February 8, 2023

I don’t know about you, but we have reached the point in the year when I have decided it’s spring.  It’s spring.  It’s spring even though this is North Dakota and last week we had thirty-below wind temperatures and there’s a ton of snow on the ground.  Also, astronomers and humanity have determined spring doesn’t begin in the Northern Hemisphere until March.   Still, the sunshine looks like spring (and I’m tired of wearing socks); therefore, it is spring, so sayeth I.

Since it is basically spring, it feels like there has been a large uptick in outdoor winter-based activities so that everyone can use their new cross-country skis before it’s time to pack them up in the garage (and, in the case of my family, forget about them forever).  Last week, Kyle stood at the kitchen window, coffee cup in hand, staring at a few small drifts of snow that had blown onto our backyard rink.  The temperature was roughly -15.

“If we don’t clear off the rink by Sunday, there won’t be any more skating this year,” he said, and sniffed.

In addition to mourning the future loss of his beloved rink (note: last year he took it down in May), Kyle has become hot and bothered with the idea that summer is just around the corner and he only got to snowmobile once this winter – at Christmastime, when we were up in Saskatchewan at his dad’s house.

Kyle comes from an outdoorsy family.  Even if you set aside the fact that his dad is a third-generation farmer and my limited understanding of farming families is that the #1 rule is that you must be in the process of going outside or be actually outside for 90% of your waking hours (the #2 rule is that you must have at least one story that starts out, “We were digging/standing around this hole when…”), they are still the type of family that does things outdoors for fun.  If we go back to the snowmobiling thing, for example, my father-in-law likes to go on multi-day snowmobile trips with his buddies, which are like road trips but on a sled (and not on the road).

My family, on the other hand, is indoorsy.  Even when we do things outside, the goal of the activity is to get back inside – like, if we go hiking, we need to be back by a set time because we have a lunch reservation.  I met Kyle in December 2004 and we were engaged by April 2005, which meant there was about a four-month period where I fought hard against my natural instincts so as to seem “cool” and “fun” and “basically a different person.”  Since part of that dating period happened, coincidentally, in this pre-spring timeline we are in now, I took part in the aforementioned activity of snowmobiling, and I’m going to tell you about that now.

With all that “coolness” and “funness” abounding, Kyle and I got very serious very quickly, and decided we’d better take a trip up to Canada so I could meet his brothers before we surprised them with an engagement.

“Pack your winter gear!”  Kyle told me.  “We can spend Saturday snowmobiling!”

“Awesome!”  I replied, probably truthfully because I was, then, a different person.

Saturday rolled around.  We had breakfast, and I made a big show about putting on long underwear, sweats, snowpants, two pairs of socks, boots, and jacket.  Kyle topped off the outfit with a snowmobile helmet.

“You’re legit!”  He told me.

“Sure am!”  I said, legitly.

“Where are you going?”  Kyle’s mom asked.

“Just around,” Kyle said – a phrase which I, his wife of 17 years, now knows means “Somewhere that will take much longer than anyone but Kyle has anticipated and will definitely go over a meal hour.”

We got on the snowmobiles.  Kyle offered me some very in-depth instruction which included, “This is the gas” and “This is the brake,” and then pointed in the direction of a snowy field across from the house.  He gave me a thumbs up, and I gave him a thumbs up, and we were off.

Or, rather, Kyle was off because the normal me came out and realized I was 1) outside, 2) operating a motor vehicle, and 3) didn’t know the plan for lunch.  Still, if I was going to potentially marry into this outdoorsy family I figured I should make an effort to be amazing at #1 and #2, and assumed my future-future husband would have some kind of wonderful picnic planned at a secret destination.  I gently turned the throttle(?) and the snowmobile shot off into the sunshine.  And by “shot off,” I mean crawled along at about fifteen kilometers per hour.

Kyle realized I was moving at basically a walking pace, and so he slowed down.  It took either five minutes or 300 hours for me to reach him.  He gave me a thumbs up, and I gave him a thumbs up, although my thumb was already cold.  He took that gesture to mean, “I’m doing so great, let’s go MUCH MUCH faster.”  He sped up to 30 kph, and then 50 – and I, for reasons unknown to me even now, did the same.

You’ll be surprised to hear that snowmobiles ride on the snow.  You’ll also be surprised to hear that when you ride a snowmobile (or sled, or basically anything) quickly through the snow, the snow flies up at your body and face.  And you’ll be REALLY surprised to know that after another five minutes or 300 hours of being showered with snow in the outdoors without a lunch reservation in sight, I turned back into my normal, non-cool self.

We were somewhere in the middle of a (different) field when I shut off my snowmobile.  Kyle flipped around.

“You okay?”  He asked.

“I’d like a break,” I said.

“Okay,” he said.  He took my picture.

“Ready?”  He asked.

“No,” I said.  “More of a break.”

“Okay,” he said, and looked around into what could be described as an unending winter abyss.  I sniffed, sad that I was going to have to break up with this great guy because I couldn’t be the type of person who liked having snow pelted at my face.

But then, a miracle happened.

“The Shack is nearby,” Kyle said.  “Do you want to have lunch?”

The Shack was (and is, assuming it’s still there) a little one-room house in the middle of a copse of trees for snowmobilers to rest between rides.  It had a little bench, a little fireplace, and a little table where Kyle set down the cooler he had packed without my knowledge.  In it was a pack of hot dogs.

“Are you having fun?”  Kyle asked me.

“Yes,” I said, because I loved hot dogs and the indoors of things.

“Do you want to go back home after this?”

“Yes please,” I said.

“No problem,” Kyle said, because he loved me.

Eighteen years later, I haven’t gotten back on the proverbial horse.  I have, however, become mildly more outdoorsy, to the point that I went on a five-minute ride on my father-in-law’s fancy new Ranger…before making Kyle turn around so I could get ready for lunch.


The photo above is a montage of our snowmobile trip. Look how outdoorsy I am!


Minot’s JJ Franks – a seventh grader, by the way – is $10,000 richer after making a lay-up, free throw, three-point shot, and half-court shot at Bishop Ryan. (KFYR TV) (Today Show)

Team North Dakota is headed to the ice sculpting nationals. (Valley News Live)

Emma Buee is the first female wrestler from Des Lacs-Burlington to sign a college commitment (she’s going to Augsburg University). (KFYR TV)

The Native American Development Center in Bismarck is now hosting youth drum circles in order to connect students with the music and culture of their elders. (KFYR TV)

TrainND is looking to “kill” people with kindness in order to fund scholarships for CDL drivers, crane operators, and other technical services. (Williston Herald)

A neighborhood in Bismarck came together to build one centralized ODR. (KFYR TV)

Taking someone fishing could net you an ice house. (KFYR TV)


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Profiles in Profile: Kyle Kosior Live | February 1, 2023

We are now in the thick, THE THICK, of the winter hockey season.  Between our eleven-year-old’s travel team, our seven-year-old’s league and fun skates, and Kyle’s job with the hockey agency, we spend so much time at various rinks that I’m thinking about getting an Airstream and rolling it from parking lot to parking lot so that I can take my pants shoes off between games.

While we spend the bulk of our non-work waking hours at the rink – a couple of Sundays ago, Kyle was there from 6:30am to 8:00pm and I was there from 8:00am on because I am the suckier parent – we don’t actually spend any time together.  One kid is always in the locker room or on the ice, the other is running around with his friends or at the concession stand, and Kyle is as far away from me as physically possible without having to actually leave the building.

Kyle likes to watch hockey.  He likes to WATCH it.  He does not like to chit-chat about post-game lunch, or browse the wares at the concession stand, or hold my coffee while I go outside to the car to take my pants shoes off.  He likes to WATCH.  HOCKEY.  He likes to WATCH IT.

He also wants to remain married to me.  He wants to REMAIN MARRIED.  Because he wants to remain married to me, he cannot say, “Amanda, shut your piehole about the meltiness of the cheese at the concession stand and watch frickin’ hockey,” and so, instead, Kyle has found a way to avoid me by streaming the games on Facebook Live for his twenty-person throng of adoring fans.

He streamed for the first time last year.  We were in Devils Lake, and he stood at the back of the bleachers on the side of the rink opposite from me and used the camera on his phone to follow the play.

“I’m doing this for your dad,” he told me.  “He wanted to see the game.”

“That’s nice,” I said.

He streamed again the next day in Grand Forks…at a place with a Rink Cam that could be accessed online.  This time, he called out penalties and goals and player names.

“Your dad can’t hear the sound on the Rink Cam,” he said.  “It’s for your dad.”

“That’s nice,” I said.

The following weekend, Kyle started doing play-by-play for his audience of three: my dad, and two grandmas who didn’t want to drive in the cold.  He also added in some light color, notably by proclaiming that the stream was sponsored (it was not) by a business owned by one of our friends: Great Plains Plumbing and Heating.

“This game brought to you by Great Plains Plumbing and Heating,” he said into his phone.  “Great Plains Plumbing and Heating: We’re coming in hot!” (That is not their tagline.)

Both my dad and Kyle thought he was very funny.

A few days later, my dad presented Kyle with two lavalier microphones that plugged into his phone and clipped onto jacket lapels.  A month after that – now with ten-plus grandmas and grandpas on the stream who tuned in primarily to hear their grandchild’s names and secondarily for Kyle’s commentary (“We’re broadcasting live from Minot; so close to Canada you can smell the taxes”) – the other parents gave him a t-shirt with “NACHO AVERAGE COMMENTATOR” written across the back.  And, with that, Kyle became the self-proclaimed official gameday network of all of our sons’ hockey teams in perpetuity.

Less than thirty days later, Kyle’s official status became a bit of a problem at the start of Eleven’s spring hockey season because another dad on the team (a different group than the winter season) was ALSO the official gameday network of his own sons’ hockey teams.  Fortunately, that dad had a nicer phone and Kyle had a nicer microphone setup, so they joined forces with the other dad on play-by-play and camera work and Kyle on color and microphone ownership.  His Emmy-nominated line of the season was, “Looks like he’s getting that penalty for, um…reasons.”  Great Plains Plumbing and Heating was, once again, an unwilling and unpaid sponsor.

Fast-forward to this winter season.  Now a seasoned broadcaster, and the owner of a gimble thanks to a generous gift from another hockey family (while Kyle’s commentary is spot-on, his camera work leaves something to be desired – especially since he likes to WATCH HOCKEY and sometimes forgets that he’s holding a camera), Kyle’s production has been taken to the next level.  For example, he has more unsigned sponsors, including Spicer Container and Salvage (“Spicer Container and Salvage: Get That Stuff Out of Here”) and North Dakota Nice (“North Dakota Nice: [Our street address]’s most popular blog, 2021”).  He has added in a section called “Profiles in Profile,” in which he turns to whomever is seated nearest to him, points the camera on the side of their face, and asks what they think of the game (Spoiler: everyone thinks the boys are doing a good job).

Kyle also has taken to including guest announcers whenever possible – selected, like “Profiles in Profile,” based on proximity.  As most of the parents have figured out that if you sit next to Kyle he’s going to hand you a mic, the majority of his co-commentators are children.  Our own seven-year-old did the first period at a recent game, during which Kyle asked him how he expected the next hour to go.

“Well, it’s either going to go really, really good, or really, really bad,” Seven said.

“Hard to contradict that,” Kyle said in response.

Fortunately, Kyle’s demographic is almost entirely over 60 or under 8, so these guests do very well.  In fact, one of the grandmas routinely asks for updates on her own granddaughter sitting in the stands.

Another one of those grandmas also suggested that Kyle stream her other grandson’s Peewee game.

“Haha,” Kyle said, but not in a real HAHA way, more like in a “Maybe” way, which made me a little nervous because we don’t really need any more rink time.  I’m considering asking him to start a lawn dart league so I can at least sit outside (pants optional).


Last weekend, our son’s team played the other Grand Forks team at a tournament. It was quite the competition – for the dads – because pictured here is Kyle and his co-presenter (the dad mentioned above) having to call the game on two separate, competing streams. This is as close as I was allowed to get.


Bring yo’ kids’ best smiles; the North Dakota State College of Science Allied Dental Education Clinic is providing free dental work on February 10. (Wahpeton Daily News)

Cavalier’s Ava Robinson won the junior Beargrease as a 14-year-old and is now preparing for the John Beargrease Sled Dog Marathon. (Valley News Live)

Best of luck to Wyndmere’s McKinnlee Haberman, winner of the local 2023 Poetry Out Loud contest, who is now headed to the national competition. (Wahpeton Daily News)

For communities without a public library, there is now a book vending machine. (Hillsboro Banner)

The Fargo community came out to support a new supermarket, owned by a brother-sister duo who came to North Dakota after escaping Vietnam. (Fargo Forum)

I did not know this was a thing until now: congratulations to the winners of the Barnes County Wildlife Annual Coyote Calling Contest – the results of which (by number of coyotes called) are listed here. (Valley City Times Record)


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The Apple Tree | March 9, 2022

Last week, the New York Post put up a graphic that identified North Dakota as “the best state at solving Wordle.”  I’m not sure my participation is helping those numbers, but I absolutely love Wordle because I love WORDS.  I’m sure you’re thinking, “Oh man you are so deep I hope they have a Nobel Prize for deepness because you would win it” – but listen, some people like sports and other people like collecting decorative spoons and I like words.  

I like the look of words; such as how “murmur” is flat and unassuming but is filled with lines that roll up and down.  I like the sound of words; “truth,” for example, is spoken in a short staccato at the front of your mouth, while “lies” slides slowly from the back.  I like how words can be broken apart and pieced back together to make new words, such as how “icicle” and “dream” make up “dreamsicle” and all of those things are different but can be married into the same family and therefore related. 

(That feeling you’re experiencing right now is what happens when your entire body does a massive eyeroll.)

Words need to be used, so I take them out for a spin through writing exercises.  There are roughly an infinite number of ways to do a writing exercise, but my preference is to pick out a single word and see what story it wants to tell.  So, I play Wordle because it’s supplying me with an endless stream of possible words for writin’.  Here’s a poor example of Wordle performance, but good example of finding some great words:

Screenshot_20220305-115422_Chrome

I feel like I could spend two weeks on those five words alone.  “’I’ll write myself a note so I don’t forget,’ she said; both of them knowing full well she wouldn’t.”  “The pride paused momentarily behind the blue line.  With a tap of the goalie stick, they emerged; moving as one on a hunt for the net.”  (Meh, that one is pretty terrible.)  I mean, BRINE alone is worth the day.  “He packed the cooler tight with his personal brine of Coors Light, beef jerky, and clementines, and loaded up the fishing boat for a long, slow pickling in the summer sun.”

Anyways, I recently used the word APPLE and thought I’d share the story with you.  Please don’t tell me if you think it sucks.

 —

THE APPLE TREE

Try as he might to convince everyone otherwise, Ronald Moen sure did love his apple trees.  In fact, he loved them so much that Jerry figured he’d better mention it, just so there wasn’t any trouble.

“Oh, yeah, they’re real delicious,” Jerry said, using his watering can to gesture to the Moen’s front steps – which, because it was now August, was decorated in an acre’s worth of handpainted wooden sunflowers.  “Ron and Melba keep a basket of them on the porch for anyone who wants some.  They’ll give you a whole bagful if you ask…you know, so…”  The egg salad sandwich he had for lunch flipped in Jerry’s stomach at the thought of being unneighborly to these nice young folks.  “You don’t need to worry about those trees.  If a branch or the cherries are bothering you, you tell Ron and he’ll take care of it, to be sure,” he nodded.  “You don’t need to worry about those trees.”

Mark – who had the same baby face of all the other Tollefsrud boys; Jerry’d have to rib Bob Tollefsrud a bit about it the next time they were at the VFW – grinned.  “As soon as I saw those apple trees, I knew we were going to buy the house.  I had apple trees in my backyard growing up, too.”

“Oh, yeah?”  Same look of mischief, too; whole family of scamps.  Jerry wiped a leather-tanned hand over his forehead.  “Well, like I said, Ron and Melba keep a basket on the porch, so…”

It was at that moment that the Moen’s garage door opened and Ron came lumbering out.

“’Lo!” he bellowed, sucking in his Santa Claus belly so he could slide a small axe into the waistband of his toolbelt.  “Ronald Moen, how you be.”

They exchanged the usual introductions – who knew whose cousins, how it sure was a hot time to move but winter was right around the corner so no complaining allowed, if Mark’s kids and Ron’s grandkids were excited about school, that sort of thing – and then Mark said,

“I was telling Jerry here how much I like your apple trees.  I’m going to go get one of my own this afternoon.”

“You’re gonna need more than one so they can fertilize each other,” Ron boomed.  Across the street, Jerry’s old, nearly-deaf dog lifted his head because Ron’s voice could awaken the dead.  “My mother-in-law gave us them two as a housewarming gift.  Gave us saplings because she loves finding work for me to do.  Yep, they are a lot of work.  A lot a-dang work.”

“I don’t –” Mark started.

“They get real buggy, you know.  Plus, we didn’t have a fence when we were first married and the deer were always after ‘em.  A lot of work.  You hunt, don’t ya?”

“Yes.”

“Me, too.  I had to miss the goose opener a while back because them apples were dropping like a rainstorm.  We donated thirty pounds to the food bank that weekend.  It was in the paper.”

“I think my aunt said something about that.”

“Who’s your aunt, Glennie?  Yeah, she makes a pretty good apple pie.  Melba does, too.  She said she brought one over to your wife last night.”  He rubbed his belly.  “That’s why I keep those dang trees, so she can make apple pie.  Lotta work.  You should get yourself a couple of maples instead.  Real easy, and they have that nice bright color.  That’s a maple right there.  Couldn’t get one in the back, though, because I didn’t want to shade them apple trees too much.”

“Maples are nice,” Mark said.  “I’ll see what my wife wants to do after I get that apple planted.”

“Two trees,” Ronald said, and Jerry’s dog barked.  “You need two to produce fruit.”

“Yours are close enough,” Mark kept on grinning.

Jerry’s egg salad sandwich turned over again.

“My what now?” Ron said, after a pause.

“Your apple trees,” Mark said.  “I don’t need two trees, because yours will fertilize mine.  They need to be closer than fifty feet, and the one is right on the edge of the fence.”

Ronald put one hand on his belly, and the other on the head of the axe.  “Well, they need to bloom at the same time.”  His voice no longer rumbling over the sunny sidewalks.

“Oh, that’s no big deal,” Mark said.  “The Garden Center has some young apple trees that’ll fit the bill.”

“The Garden Center,” Ron murmured.

“Yessir.  I’d love to have you guys over for a beer later this week.  Maybe you can give me some pointers on how to take care of it.”

“Will do,” Jerry said.  Ronald rubbed his belly.

“Speaking of the Garden Center, I’d better get after it,” Mark said.  “Great to meet you guys.  We’re really happy to be here.”

Jerry nodded and Ron nodded and Mark nodded and Jerry’s dog went back to sleep.

Ronald didn’t see Mark plant the apple tree, but Jerry did.  Jerry saw everything from the rocking bench on his front porch.  He watched Mark return with the young apple tree, the top wrapped loosely in the striped bag of the Garden Center.  He watched Ron help Melba into their own vehicle, his voice echoing across the block about his desire to surprise her with a supper out.  They returned during the few minutes Jerry’s wife convinced him to spend inside eating his own supper.

Ron was out in the garage when Jerry returned to the porch.  Jerry waved a beer in his direction, and Ronald crossed the street and settled himself onto the top step.

“New neighbors,” Jerry said.

Ron took a drink.  “S’pose we need them so we don’t have to keep looking at each other’s old mugs.”

“Funny thing about the apple tree.”

Ron snorted.  “Lotta work.”

They sat together for a long while, until the only lights in the neighborhood belonged to the street and the two of them.

“Well,” Ron said, hitting his knee, “’Bout that time.”

Jerry went inside but he didn’t go upstairs.  Instead, he stood by the window.  Across the street, Ron closed the garage door.

Jerry’s dog sensed movement first, and Jerry squinted, trying to make sense of the dark.  Finally, Ronald’s belly took a shape of its own.  It stretched and shifted until it became a man lugging a large package wrapped in striped plastic over to the Tollefsrud’s front steps.  Ron set the tree – a second tree, identical to the one Mark had planted earlier that evening – by the door, and adjusted the ribbon Melba had tied to the front.  Next to the tree he set a grocery bag filled with apples.

Jerry nodded, and headed off to bed.

The photo above was taken at an apple orchard somewhere in Minnesota (it was two years ago and my memory stinks).  This week’s news has a boatful of water samples and a lead dog.  Read on.


One of the lovely readers of North Dakota Nice was a member of the organizing group who put together “Voices for Ukraine” – an event in Grand Forks where community members were able to talk about their experiences and connections in Ukraine. (KNOX Radio)

Grand Forks’ Madison Eklund is taking a four-month sabbatical from her job as a postal worker in order to embark on a solo – she is one of less than 10 people to take this trip, and the first to do it alone – 1,600-mile canoe trip from St. Paul to the York Factory in Canada…and she’ll be collecting water samples along the way for the state of North Dakota. (Grand Forks Herald)

This article is a brief look at the North Dakotans who were deemed worthy of “Ripley’s Believe It or Not” – including a man who bagged a fox with a treasure trove of money, and the World Champion Miniature Writer. (Fargo Forum)

North Dakota’s mobile food pantry is on the move, heading to Center, Hazen, and Beulah next week. (KX Net)

Congratulations to Cavalier’s Eva Robinson, who took 14th place in the Jr. Iditarod sled dog race – and to her lead dog, Frost, for receiving the Blue Harness Award! (Grand Forks Herald)